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Personal Integrity: Page 1 2 3 4
The good news is that not being totally truthful is a stress cause that we ourselves have absolute control over.
So, if you want to increase your level of happiness from wherever it is now, then being absolutely truthful at all times, and in all ways, is an essential quality to aim for. It is, in fact, a behaviour one can start practising immediately.
Let's clarify what we mean by personal integrity and truthfulness
I was fortunate to have been brought up in a family that valued honesty, so I had come to take it for granted. Therefore, being 'honest' didn't really strike me as being much of an issue. I mean, it was obvious: one should always be honest. In fact, I can remember that as a young boy I believed everyone is honest.
Later in my life, however, I came to realize that there are different 'levels' of honesty, and some of them are quite subtle, sometimes almost too subtle to perceive.
It is easy to know whether you are being honest or dishonest in such obvious areas as stealing, lying, not owning up when you've bumped someone's car in the parking lot, 'fiddling' your taxes, and so on. You get a signal from your body in the form of a feeling. Your 'conscience' pricks you.
The Webster Online Dictionary defines 'conscience' as follows:
Conscience (noun): Conformity to one's own sense of right conduct: "a person of unflagging conscience".
The more subtle cracks in personal integrity
However, what about not being absolutely truthful when you give the hostess your reason for declining her dinner party invitation, or when giving your opinion about a friend's artistic creation?
And what about believing you are being totally true to yourself yet you are doing a job you hate? Or you are in a relationship you just know is not right, yet you continue in it anyway?
A human state of fear
The reason for not being totaly honest at times is our own state of fear. So it is really of our own making. I heard TV psychologist Dr Phil say on his show once, the only reason we lie is because of our belief that we won't be able to deal with the consequences of telling the truth (or something along those lines). This is so true.
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