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Happiness Is The Goal - But

by sandy

I have found, culminating in the last 60 years of my life, that happiness is the end "goal" (so to speak). I can't believe I found a website which resonates with my true feelings about goals and "purpose".

But here is my dilemma. I know happiness is the goal. But, whenever I engage in a "process" of making or doing something and it starts to get real "technical" in instructions, I get frustrated and want to beat myself up for not being able to comprehend. I often blame myself that I am not progressing as fast as others.

I know this is self defeating.

As far as CMR, I now know that I've been practicing such a technique, under another name, (but as you stated names are not important) which emphasizes the ability to stay aware of your thought and stay aware of your presence. You find that the thoughts diminish over time and you become detached from them. The objective (without effort) is that you will be more objective in your daily life activities. And this has happened for me EXCEPT when it comes to the area of "work", especially for work which I do at home.

As part of a work project I have at home, I have to follow instructions presented by a third party. I need to read, comprehend and then do the instructions as stated. But at times I read and the instructions don't make sense as written and yet I see that other people following the same instructions are seeming to do fine. I then start wondering if it is my age or is something wrong?

Can you relate? Can someone offer me some feedback on this issue?

Thank you for this website and I wish you much success with your venture. I like your website because I can feel it was done with the spirit of "no pressure" and I like that. It is a refreshing change.

This site is about happiness and how to be happy

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Oct 22, 2010
further feedback ...
by: PruJoy

Hi Sandy,

I am also approaching more "senior" years as I am now 56 & I could definitely relate to yr problem of not being able to follow instructions esp. written ones - however I do have a few physical conditions that do make it hard for my brain to actually concentrate for very long at all, it's called "brain fog".

I have found that the best thing to do is to go back in the instructions to the point where you do understand & then proceed again from that point but perhaps a little more slowly & with more attention. I have been using this method to get thru a fascinating book called "Maya: The world as virtual reality" - the author, Richard L. Thompson, is a ph.D in mathematics & he writes a lot in terms of quantum physics! Suffice to say it was a real challenge to my brain cells to even only partly comprehend what he was saying. (That was only the first few chapters & the rest of the book has been much easier.)

And then I really like Gavin's tip of perhaps if it is not giving "joy" to just let it go - ha ha! I have a few formerly frustrating projects shelved for that very reason ;-)

Oct 22, 2010
Thank You .. and Some Comments
by: Gavin, Unlock Your Happiness.com

Sandy, thank you for your comments about this website, and for your contribution about happiness.

On the subject of Conscious Mental Rest, I would like to clarify briefly that during CMR there is no need for any "ability to stay aware of your thought and stay aware of your presence." I don't know which technique you are using, but from your description it sounds as if the difference is more than just in the names. (You're welcome to try the CMR method (it's free) and compare the two for yourself. It would be interesting to know your experience.)

One the other matter you raise, it will be interesting to see what others have to say in response. Hopefully there will indeed be other responses.

There is a saying that if the student hasn't learnt, the teacher hasn't taught. As an author of various instructional books, I can say that if we find that someone has difficulty with something we have written, that's a cue for us to re-read it carefully and if necessary make changes to the next edition so that it is clear.

I can relate to what you say about others 'seeming' to have no problems when we more 'senior' folks sometimes feel the instructions don't make sense. I think there are two situations here.

One is that, actually, the instructions don't make sense and need to be clarified by the author until the do make sense. The fact that others may seem to have no problem could mean that they have grown up with that subject matter and are more familiar with its terminology and way of explaining things. Or it might mean that they are the product of a more casual education system where grammar has become an almost-lost art and cellphone texting is the new way of spelling and writing. And so, their minds are 'wired' differently from our generation's. Or, it might mean too that they don't truly understand the instructions, but they believe they do and therefore appear to us that they do, as they bumble ahead with the project and somehow get the desired outcome, or perhaps don't get it.

The other, more philosophical possibility that can sometimes be the case when things don't come easily to us, is that we are not doing what we are 'cut out' to do. We may have a financial need that causes us to tackle projects that are not really in harmony with our natural abilities.

So the discomfort we feel is not necessarily saying to us that so we are inadequate. Rather, it might be telling us that we are doing something that is not bringing us joy, and that we should therefore change our choices in what we undertake.

Only you would know what the true answers are. And your real feelings would be good barometers for that.

I hope these random thoughts turn out in some way to help you clarify what's going on in your own situation.

Anyone else out there with some feedback for Sandy?

~ Gavin

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