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Don't Judge

by Gavin, Unlock Your Happiness.com
(Cape Town, South Africa)

Why do the sages say Don't judge? And why do most people do it anyway? Probably the main reason for this wisdom advice is that humans use only a small proportion of their human potential and for most of us our consciousness is far from all-knowing. So how could any human judgement be valid through such a limited perception? It can't be. It's as simple as that. What are your views on this?

Why don't people at least try to follow the don't judge 'rule'?

I would suggest that most people find it difficult to accept 'what is' as simply being 'what is', and to do so without judgement. Also, amongst our own human species, judging or criticising others is often a way (a misguided way, in my opinion) of boosting one's own sense of being 'okay', or being more 'right' than someone else, or other such self-esteem notions.

How can we be less judgemental and critical?

There are many approaches to self-improvement in this area, for those who feel they'd like to become less judgemental and critical. Here's one approach we can try out to see how it works in practice. You can no doubt think of other approaches, and your thoughts on this are most welcome.

Drop the use of judgemental words - drop one word each week

By using a judgemental word, we can immediately trigger an adrenaline response in preparation for an argument or to defend our point of view. And if the adrenaline has nowhere to go, it sits in our physiology as 'stress'.

Let's look at some examples of judgemental words:

Her skirt is long. (fact)
Her skirt is too long. (judgement, criticism)
I prefer a shorter skirt. (fact, expression of my preference, rather than the other person's)

His opinions are quite different from mine. (fact)
His opinions are stupid. (judgement, criticism)

President Xxxx says such-and-such. I disagree. (fact)
President Xxxx says such-and-such. He's an idiot! (judgement, criticism)

This car model has high fuel consumption. (fact)
This car model has hopeless fuel consumption. (judgement, criticism)

Obviously some words are only judgemental when they are used in a certain context. Saying a workman is too large to get through a very low doorway is a fact. But saying he is too large can be a judgement, and probably a criticism too.

What judgement words can we eliminate from our speech?

If you agree that dropping certain words from one's vocabulary can help a person to reduce his or her habit of invalid judgement or criticism, what words do you suggest we look at? And what examples of their usage demonstrate how one or two little words can put a judgemental slant on things? Choose one the two options below my name to share your thoughts.

~ Gavin

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